A strong body is good — but is that all you have?
I think I'm one of those people that God made who others would call "one of His toughest soldiers." I have too many whys. Too many battles that have been fought, and too many I'm still fighting. What I need to focus on is preparation. The battles are never going to stop, so it's best to drill that into your brain now: you can never control them. What you can control is your preparation for them.
I have too many flames alight that are still burning. What I've had to do is not let them spread like wildfires. At different stages I've felt consumed by them, but control is needed at all times — easier said than done, I know. Controlling the flame is what I mean by preparation. I always notice when a new battle is on its way, because I've had to survive so many of them. But as much as I can spot the signs from a distance, I've never come out of one unscathed. I always bounced back — but how long did it take to get back to normal? That's what I think about now, and I compare it to what life would look like with real preparation.
For me, training keeps me grounded and focused. It helps me not be a hypocrite to myself. How, you may ask? Have you ever felt like you have complete control over one area of your life — but when you actually slow down and look at it, you realise it isn't progress at all. You're just hiding behind that one pillar.
"The only person who can keep you fooled is also yourself."
The Dark Time
Prison was one of the times I had to face this in 4K. It was a dark time — not just because of the environment, but because the only way to pull myself out of it was to become the light for myself and my future. The only person who will keep it 100% with you is yourself, if you're not scared of the truth or being honest with yourself. That was important for me to learn, because the only person who can keep you fooled is also yourself. One thing I've started to like about myself is that I genuinely cannot lie to myself. It's an ironic world we live in, honestly.
I was completely on the ball with my training and health, but uncomfortable with the fact that my relationship with God was still non-existent. Making sure I was at the gym on time, making sure I'd posted a content video — but I hadn't made time in my day to speak to Him. My mental health and my inner child needed attending to, not more trauma swept under the carpet, whether from childhood or from experiences as a teen and young adult. I was still mishandling relationships through butchered social skills. Convinced I could get the best out of life, while only putting the worst of myself into the world. I had morals deep down, but I was still disregarding them whenever pleasure gave me the opportunity to.
Fitness Did More Than Build a Body
Fitness did more than give me a decent body. It helped me control my ego.
If I hadn't, I genuinely would be in prison — or worse.
You probably read that and thought, what's worse than jail?
Imagine this: living day by day without trying to better your life, stuck accepting whatever gets thrown at you. Realising the years are rolling by and you're still in the same position you were in as a schoolboy. Nothing you're proud of. No memories of leaving your comfort zone. Or worse — death. Meeting the end of the road with no more time to start again, to redo, to change things. It's just done.
I used to say I'd killed my ego, but I've stopped saying that now — because I've realised it's needed. It's important. The ego seeks out whichever domain offers the fastest proof of competence, and abandons the slower, harder ones. It's easy, and it feels good, to post a training video — whether you're just starting or already in full flow — because people will almost always offer some kind of praise. It could be an Instagram like, an emoji that lifts you in that moment, or a full-blown compliment.
What About the Other Pillars?
But imagine that with another pillar. Will your ego be fed if you post about how hard it is to battle and let go of your daily sins? Will your ego be stroked if you're honest about the childhood trauma you faced, and the healthy steps you're taking to heal from it? Would your ego be happy having uncomfortable conversations with the people you love? I know mine was a big fat no — for all of it, and more.
Every day is a battle, a war. I'm one of the toughest soldiers, remember? So training the body isn't the only way I'm building the fortress. Spiritually, mentally, financially, emotionally, and physically.
"What are you training for?"
LIFE.
Physical training is only one wing of the fortress — it was never built to stand alone. I'm staying dedicated and disciplined in every part of it. That's what I'm training for.